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The year was 2006. The year of our Lord. I was without a job, money was scarce, and I had a family to feed. I was at a low point. Then a strange, uneasy feeling came over me. I felt like a boat that was loosed from the shore and set adrift. I had no anchor, nothing to grasp. I was floating with no ground to stand on, no tree to hold. And as I looked around, I felt lost. There was an emptiness, a void I could feel. Why it was there I didn’t know. How long it would last, I couldn’t say.

And in this state, I contemplated life. A house, a home to keep, cars to drive, people to meet. Children to raise, TV to watch, bills to pay, money to make. A job to do, food to eat, games to play, and passion to fill. “Is this all there is?” I wondered.

I was adrift without an anchor. An emptiness, a void I could feel, held me down and no comfort was found. Then a thought came. First it fluttered, and then settled, like a falling leaf.

“Was it God?” Was it the Lord that was missing in my life? From where the thought came I didn’t know. I was 45 years old and religion was the farthest thing from my mind. Why, anytime I picked up a Bible my eyes would glaze over, and I didn’t even know … if God was real.

But I couldn’t shake it. The question remained on my mind; was the hole in my soul, the void I sensed, a place only God could fill?

I began to cry

For eight months, I pursued an answer. It was now 2007. Winter had turned to spring, and the summer heat was upon us. Then I remember that night, August 23, 2007, when the answer came. It was about 2:30 a.m. and I was standing in the shower, when suddenly I began to cry. Tears mixed with falling water, and my breath grew short. I felt weak and slumped to the floor of the tub. Eight months of search had culminated in my mind.

“God is real!” I could hear in my head. Then someone began speaking to my soul. Words, to this day, I do not know. All I could say, all I could mutter, was “I understand.” I was sobbing now and my mind was spinning. The words, “I understand,” “I understand,” kept coming out of my mouth. The Living God had come to me, and He was talking to my soul.

Bright light

Wiping my tears aside, I slowly came out of the shower. I felt like a bright light. A charge, an energy of some sort had filled my body. What happened I didn’t know, but something was different.

Time was passing by, it was now almost 5:00 a.m. Feeling compelled, I sat down to write a letter. What I wrote stunned me—a confession of sin and desire for God’s hand. Somehow, I had changed and was humbled and made contrite, all that very night. I was no longer in control, and “Let not my will, but Thy will be done,” became the cry of my very soul.

The burden of Christ

Over the next several years I would go through trials, tribulation and triumph. A marvel, a miracle was happening. True to the words of the Bible, the Lord God was conforming me.  He was molding me into the likeness of His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As the Lord revealed more of Himself, He shared His heart. The burden of Christ came upon me and I would weep, just cry out loud, over those who were perishing. Then just as quickly, I was led to pray for these that I saw or knew. I pleaded “Mercy dear Lord,” “Have mercy on these, as you have had mercy on me.”

The darkness

I saw miracles and witnessed the hand of God at work. And I began to know the pure and perfect love of Christ Jesus. Then my eyes were opened to see the darkness, and my heart grew heavy. First, the Lord showed me the darkness in my own soul, an evil I came to hate. This darkness had form and shape, it was a wickedness that covered the earth. I saw the true nature of man, and the invisible became visible. Darkness was everywhere. What men could not see, the evil that creeped, God laid bare.

Children killed, slaughtered in school. Guns of the devil, bullets and failed men rule. Bombs, wars and terrorist fears. Violence, bloodshed, vulgarity and tears. Poverty, politics and suicide in high school. Great hurricanes, storms and quakes. Climate change, death and hate. The earth groans for sin abounds.  The time has come, the signs are clear. Judgment is near, seek God while He can be found.

The Day of the Lord

And I heard God’s Word ringing in my ear, “Fear God and give Him glory, because the hour of His judgment has come” (Revelation 14:7). Later, I would have a terrifying vision. I saw countless people in a stadium, men and women, all waiting to enter the gates of Heaven. It was the Day of Judgment and they heard the words, “I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23).

The Lord had declared a death sentence, judgment in hell. Blood-curdling screams of disbelief and horror filled the air, then shock, anger and despair. Stout men grew faint, and knees swayed. Mouths were open, with nothing to say. I was aghast, and became weak with great sorrow.

Good News

Into my mouth came these words, “the Day of the Lord is near” (Zephaniah 1:14). A day of great trouble and distress. A time when every heart will melt, and no prayer will be heard. It is the end of all things, and the judgment of the world. But there was good news, a way of escape had come. A narrow gate that led to God’s Kingdom. The way to life is to believe in Jesus Christ and love Him. The Son of God and eternal King, crucified and risen to atone for our sin.

Have you met Him

But how can you love someone you do not know? And how can you know someone you have never met? I have seen the glory to come, and the Lord is His name. I have no fear of war, evil, distress or the coming end. Financial troubles, bursting bubbles, death or mayhem. The Lord is with me, and gives me comfort and peace. A joy in my soul that cannot cease. To meet the Living God is not a religion, but a promise to all who love Him.

Seek Me and find Me

Thus saith the Lord, “You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.”¹ “Seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.”² “All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out.”³ “If you seek Him, He will be found by you, but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.”⁴

Seek the Lord, dear friend, while there is still day. For when the night comes no work can be done.

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