My Search For The Truth, Testimony by S.G.
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Growing up in the Jewish faith, I had little to no knowledge of Christianity. When I was young, I remember a leader at our synagogue saying that Jesus was the Christian’s Messiah, and that the Jewish Messiah wasn’t here yet, so we had to wait for him. My family wasn't very religious, so I soon realized that all the laws that we were supposed to keep weren't being observed. This left me with more questions than answers. Although I wanted to please God, I felt I had already failed and it wasn’t long before my synagogue attendance died off.
In public school I was taught the theory of evolution, but I didn’t understand how Adam and Eve’s creation and this theory could coexist. I decided that I was agnostic, in that I thought God might exist, but I didn’t know for sure.
As a teen my parents separated and I began having episodes of depression. I was put on medication and during this time I began having violent nightmares in which dark entities attempted to suffocate me as I slept. This was my first glimpse into the spiritual world. After having suicidal thoughts, I decided to discontinue the antidepressants and find other remedies for my emotional hurts.
When I got to college, I decided the remedy was to fit in, be popular, and have lots of friends. My life was filled with partying, boyfriends, and binge drinking. I tried to hide my depression but I now struggled with anxiety and occasional panic attacks.
Years after school, I experienced the sudden death of a father figure in my life and I began to question why God would let this happen. For the first time, I truly doubted God’s existence, and felt a darkness and hopelessness enter my life. I went into a destructive, downward spiral and dabbled in things like drugs, tarot cards, psychics, and eastern philosophies for answers.
I turned to meditation and yoga—yoga meaning “to yoke,” wherein the postures yoke or unite with Hindu deities. Out of curiosity and desperation for the truth, I attempted to open my third eye. After weeks of attempts, one evening I prayed to “the universe” while in meditation and felt a crackling sensation in my head, suddenly I felt as if I was struck by lightning! Immediately my soul shot up through the ceiling into the night sky. When I came back into my body I felt strange, like I was not alone. I was terrified that I had done something irreversible.
Not long after, I began to channel entities who claimed to be spirit guides, ascended masters, and even aliens who tried to teach me many things. This supposed “awakening” event had to do with what’s known as kundalini and an energy called “serpent power.” These beings’ stories never lined up and I could tell they were lying, however, to ease my doubts they attempted to assure me that I was spiritually superior to others and reaching enlightenment with their help.
Yet, I was completely broken inside and lacked inner peace. I began to reexamine my spiritual well-being to understand exactly who or what I was dealing with. The more I looked into the philosophies these entities taught, I found that the worship of Lucifer was at the root of them! I began to think about the serpent in the Garden of Eden. It was the serpent who deceived Eve into eating the fruit. In the Bible it says that “Satan masquerades as an angel of light” and that Jesus saw “Satan fall like lightning from heaven….”
As I researched, I realized in terror, that Satan, hell and demonic beings must be real. Not only this, I had invited these beings into my body and had practiced the evil things they taught. Upon discovering their deception, these “angels of light” showed their true colors and turned on me to take my life! Yet, despite the extreme danger I was facing, I now knew that God must also be real! Hallelujah!
Even as a Jewish person, I knew that Jesus could get rid of demons and although hesitant, I called on the name of Jesus Christ.
“When the even was come, they brought unto Him many that were possessed with devils: and He cast out the spirits with His word, and healed all that were sick” (Matthew 8:16).
When I called on that name, to my surprise, Adonai, the God of my youth, spoke to me and asked if I would like to accept His Son! Jesus was the prophesied Jewish Messiah all along! Jesus, or Yeshua עושי in Hebrew, is “to rescue” or “to deliver,” while Christ simply means “Messiah” or “Anointed” in Greek.
“And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus [YESHUA], for He will save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).
In the book of Isaiah it is written, “your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, that He will not hear.”
I found I could be forgiven for what had separated me from God when I learned that Jesus gave His life for mine; just like Eve, I was far from God's presence with no hope of return.
Yeshua, like a second Adam, yet without sin, came to restore what was lost in the Garden. By shedding His blood, He became the ultimate Passover Lamb, redeeming those who follow Him from the plague of sin and death. Through God's mercy alone is there provided a way of escape and a second chance to eat of the tree of life, to live forever with Him.
When I believed the gospel—the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ—for the remission of my sins, I felt the overwhelming power and love of God. I was saved from demonic beings as they fled in His presence and at the very name of Messiah!
Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life” and “No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Since trusting in Messiah Yeshua, I am no longer being tormented but I have peace, knowing the true God and His Son, following His ways with the precious hope of eternal life.
“This is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son” (1 John 5:11).
2 Corinthians 11:14 (NAB), Luke 10:18 (ESV), Matthew 8:16 (KJV), Matthew 1:21 (NKJV), Isaiah 59:2 (KJV), John 14:6 (NAB), 1 John 5:11 (NKJV)