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I have a couple of questions for you.

Yes, I mean you, the person who for whatever reason has decided to continue on reading the first two sentences of this pamphlet.

• Have you ever felt there was only so far you could go in life because something was blocking you?

• Is there an emptiness inside of you that remains, even though you have done all you can to fill it up?

I felt exactly this way when I was as young as 8 years old until surrendering to Jesus at just 20 years old.

When I was in 3rd grade, my step father was sexually abusing me. He made me believe that this was something I wanted and that this was going to be how I lived for the rest of my life. I saw no way out. I had two options: I could say something and he would make me watch as he killed my family and then he’d kill me. Or, I could just endure the torture for my family’s sake. I chose to protect my family. I was so confused. On the one hand, I thought this was a normal life. On the other hand, I believed that I was the only one going through such an existence. I truly felt hopeless—I was chained. Eventually one of my younger sisters who was also being abused came forward. My sister paved the way toward freedom as I also exposed him. Our abuser went to prison. Shortly thereafter, my mom buried herself in booze because she couldn’t bear knowing the pain her babies had suffered without her knowledge. I was abandoned. I was neglected. When I needed her the most she made meth her new drug of choice. Sadly, my dad lived states away and offered no support or guidance. I needed help towards healing, but I was alone. I buried my pain and became an imposter. No one knew me or my pain. I was lost.

To provide for myself during this time, I worked side by side with my grandfather in his landscaping business. One day, we were working at a lake house and he led me to a shed where he pinned me to the wall, sexually abused me and told me I liked it. He provided finances for my family so I stayed silent. I broke physically. I broke emotionally. Once again, I was chained.

The heavy links of the chain continued to trap me.

An older basketball coach, who I viewed as a caring father figure, took me in as one of his own. He then began to tell me he was in love with me and was purchasing odd things for me BUT, again, I was chained to him because he was my way to and from sports and school. Eventually I met a guy my junior year of high school who became my boyfriend. He ended up being physically and mentally abusive, to the point that if I left him, he threatened that he would kill me. Inexplicably, at the end of 2015, I moved across the country together with him. Chained.

I was at rock bottom. What was the point of living? Life was nothing but abuse, pain and suffering. I was done. Suicide could set me free from my forever chains. There was no other way out…

Until there was!

In 2016, I participated in the Miss Iowa USA pageant. To prepare for the competition I visited Ulta Beauty to get my eyebrows waxed. The gal that would work with me radiated a glow that I saw from aisles away. The moment I sat in her chair, I began weeping. After speaking to her, I felt hope again for the first time in a really long time, and I knew I wanted what she had. I went to church with her the next Sunday and I’ve never stopped going. In May of 2016 I gave my life over to Jesus and committed to following Him. On June 5, 2016 I was baptized in water and on July 4, 2016 I experienced real fireworks as I was filled with the Holy Spirit. In two short months, my eyes were opened to a whole new reality that I never knew existed!

It all began with repenting from my sin rather than focusing on the multitude of sins committed against me.

Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sin and He rose from the dead so that I might walk in a whole new reality. I had truly been born again. This is what Jesus does for every person who turns to follow Him. He even led me through forgiveness with everyone who had hurt me.

Today, I can’t stop sharing about what Jesus did for me and continues to do for me. He began breaking every link of every chain that held me. The TRUE chain breaker. I tried counseling, but all I needed was an encounter with my loving God Who fills every empty hole inside of me. I am entirely free from guilt, shame and condemnation because I know the blood of Christ is enough.

God continues to work miracles in my life! I’d been suffering from back pain that existed because my spine curved slightly to the right and on November 14, 2023 I was re-baptized and, when I came out of the water, the pain in my back was gone. Jesus healed my back!!

So back to my questions..

• Have you ever felt there was only so far that you could go in life because something was blocking you?

• Is there an emptiness inside of you that remains, even though you have done all you can to fill it up?

I now have the answer to these questions and He is a real man that died for you and He wants to set you free, just like He did it for me. Are you ready for those chains to be broken? Are you ready for those holes to be filled? He, and He alone, is Your only hope.

His name is Jesus. And I pray that you meet Him.

Key Scriptures for my life:

Romans 10:8-10, 1 Peter 5:6-9, 2 Timothy 1:7, Philippians 4:6-7

Did you know that God still speaks to His loved ones? I heard Him call me His Wildflower. God delights in taking the unfixable and turning it into a breathtaking flower. I’m His Wildflower. Might you also have a place in His garden?

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