Moving Forward

The Christian life is all about following Christ on a journey of personal transformation. But we were never meant to make that journey alone. We were meant to be accompanied by other travelers, because it’s more fun that way, and because God uses those friendships to shape us—to form us spiritually. This means that your friendships could be as important to your spiritual formation as your daily devotions and your weekly worship.

Spiritual friends help each other find and follow God in all the seasons of life. A biblical example of this is the friendship between David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel 18:1 we read, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” Let me set the scene of what had just happened. Perhaps you remember the story. The armies of the Philistines and the armies of Israel are encamped on opposite sides of the valley, and every day Goliath, the giant, the Philistine champion, steps out into the valley to challenge the armies of Israel. He mocks Israel’s God and dares anyone to come out and fight him. Day after day, Goliath’s challenge is unanswered by the Israelites, until young David volunteers. Armed with a sling and five smooth stones, David steps out into the valley, calls out Goliath, rebukes him in the name of God, and then nails him between the eyes with one stone and brings him crashing to the ground. The armies of Israel are emboldened. They rise up and they drive the Philistines from their land. Immediately afterwards, Israel’s King Saul congratulates David, with Saul’s son Jonathan watching.

Verse 4 tells us that “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.” This is a remarkable scene. Jonathan is the prince. He is the heir to the throne of Israel, and yet he honors David by giving his royal garments and his royal weapons.

Jonathan is a great warrior himself. But by the time we read of Goliath, it seems that Jonathan is discouraged, that he’s lost confidence in himself, and maybe even confidence in God. But then he sees this shepherd boy come out of nowhere and step out to face the giant, armed with just a slingshot. And when he sees the great victory that God gives to Israel through David, suddenly Jonathan, it seems, begins to remember who he is and who God is. He sees something in David that resonates with something deep inside of himself, to be passionate for God, to be a warrior of God. And that day, he declares that he will be David’s friend forever.

Friends Help Each Other Progress

I remember the first time I ever drafted behind another bike. I had been biking for years but always went out by myself. I kind of enjoyed the solitude. But one day, a friend who was a stronger rider was riding with me and he taught me how to draft behind him. You know how that goes. The rider in front literally breaks the resistance of the wind, so it’s much easier to make progress. Two riders taking turns pulling each other can ride a lot farther and faster than they ever could ride alone.

Here’s Jonathan. He’s discouraged. He’s out of gas. And all of a sudden, here comes David whizzing by on his way to defeat Goliath, and Jonathan slides in behind him, finds momentum, and his passion and faith in God are restored. We all have days and seasons in our lives when we’re discouraged or afraid. Maybe we’re disappointed in God. Maybe we’re just distracted by the cares of life. And then someone comes alongside of us and they tell us about something God has done in their life. They share some insight from their Bible reading that day. Maybe they just point out the beauty of the day that God has made. And we get pulled along in the wake of their momentum. We need friends like that.

Friends Stay Faithful

Friends don’t give up on each other when the journey gets tough or long or even dangerous. Let’s pick up the story of David and Jonathan in chapter 20. They had been riding together for a while now, but things are getting more difficult. Saul has turned against David and seems to be out to get rid of him. David asks Jonathan to help him, to intercede with his father. It was a difficult and dangerous thing that David was asking Jonathan to do, but Jonathan’s answer is, “Whatever you say, I will do for you” (1 Samuel 20:4).

A little while later, Jonathan has a favor to ask of David: “show me the steadfast love of the Lord, that I may not die; and do not cut off your steadfast love from my house” (1 Samuel 20:14-15). Jonathan understands that David will be king someday and that Saul’s household will be destroyed, but he asks David to show mercy to him and his descendants. He uses the words “steadfast love.” It’s from a powerful word in the original language: the Hebrew word hesed, which means enduring, steadfast, loyal love.

Spiritual friends love each other like that. They stick by each other through good times and bad, across the miles and across the years.

Friends Have an Active Voice

Spiritual friends speak faith into each other’s lives. Let’s drop in one more time on David and Jonathan. Now we’re in chapter 23. Saul is definitely out to kill David now. There is no question about it. David has been on the run for a long time, and he’s tired of it. He’s tired of sleeping in caves. He’s tired of looking over his shoulder. And he’s a bit frustrated with God. Why has He allowed this to happen? David hasn’t done anything to deserve this kind of treatment. Jonathan senses that this is a moment when he needs to go find his friend.

“Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God” (read 1 Samuel 23:15-18). How do you help a person find strength in God? Well, firstly, just by showing up. The same thing happens when you show up in a hospital room or a funeral home or a courtroom or a coffee shop to be with someone in a time of need. You’re reminding them that God knows where they are and that He’s there too.

But mostly what Jonathan does is speak into David’s life. He speaks courage to David: “Do not fear.” He speaks hope: “You shall be king.” Now this is not just wishful thinking. God has already revealed all of this. Jonathan is simply reminding David of what God has already said. Spiritual friends pay attention to what’s going on in a friend’s life. They help us hear God’s voice when it’s difficult. They help us see God’s hand at work in confusing circumstances. They help us do God’s will when we’re tired and afraid.

Do you have a friend like that, someone who speaks faith into your life? Are you that kind of friend?

—Bryan Wilkerson, condensed