{"product_id":"pmt-laughter-its-good-for-the-body-its-good-for-the-soul","title":"Laughter: It's Good For The Body, It's Good For The Soul","description":"\u003ch3\u003eOne Liners\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel with a poodle and a ghost?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eA Cocker-Poodle BOO!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eHe’s all RIGHT now!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy can’t a nose be a foot?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBecause, then it would be a foot!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday I got rid of some batteries. I gave them away FREE of charge!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDoes this taste funny to you?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwo antennas decided to get married. The ceremony was fine, but the reception was GREAT!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat’s the difference between IN-LAWS and OUTLAWS?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eOUTLAWS are wanted!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy did the snail paint a giant S on his car? \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eSo when he drove by people would say “Look at that S car go!” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe Talking Dog\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA man is driving through a new area of town one day when he sees a sign on the front door of a house: \u003cb\u003eTALKING DOG FOR SALE\u003c\/b\u003e. He just has to check this out. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe knocks on the door, and when the owner comes to the door he asks, \u003ci\u003e“Do you really have a talking dog for sale?”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe owner remarks, \u003ci\u003e“Absolutely, he is out back in the yard. Feel free to go talk to him.” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe guy walks out to the backyard, sees the dog and says, \u003ci\u003e“Hello.” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe dog responds, \u003ci\u003e“Welcome stranger. What brings you to my neighborhood?” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Well,”\u003c\/i\u003e says the man, \u003ci\u003e“I was driving by, saw the sign and had to check it out. Tell me a little about your background.” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe dog begins by telling the man he served with the military in Operation Desert Storm during the Gulf War, then spent several years as a rescue dog in the Swiss Alps, and now spends a few days a month visiting old folks at the local nursing home. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe man is amazed. He goes back to the owner and says, \u003ci\u003e“Why on earth would you want to sell this talking dog?” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe owner, very sternly, remarks, \u003ci\u003e“He is a liar! He never did any of those things!!”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eBIBLE STORY\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eA man spots an old schoolfriend getting out of a ROLLS ROYCE auto. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“How did you do so well?”\u003c\/i\u003e asks the man. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Oh,”\u003c\/i\u003e says his stuttering friend. \u003ci\u003e“J-j-j-j-j just by selling c-c-c-c copies of the B-b-b-b Bible d-d-d-d door to d-d-d-door.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“That’s amazing,”\u003c\/i\u003e says the man. \u003ci\u003e“How do you manage to sell so many?”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“W-w-well,”\u003c\/i\u003e says his friend, \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I just knock on p-p-p-people’s d-d-d-doors, show them a c-c-copy of the b-b-b-Bible and ask them if they w-w-w-would rather b-b-b-buy one or have me r-r-r-read \u003cbr\u003eit to them.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eMore One Liners\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you hear about the new squirrel diet? It’s just nuts!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI’m so good at sleeping. \u003cbr\u003eI can do it with my eyes closed!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy do people in Greece hate waking up at dawn?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBecause Dawn\u003cbr\u003e is tough on \u003cbr\u003eGrease!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eTwo Mental Patients\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwo mental patients, Harry and Tom, are waiting for an interview with their doctor. If they can each answer two simple questions, they’ve been told they will be free to leave the asylum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe first patient, Harry, goes in for his interview. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Harry,”\u003c\/i\u003e says the doctor, \u003ci\u003e“If I were to poke out one of your eyes what would happen?” \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I would be half blind,”\u003c\/i\u003e replies Harry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“And what would happen if I poked out the other eye?”\u003c\/i\u003e asks the doctor. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I would be completely blind,”\u003c\/i\u003e replies Harry. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe doctor sends Harry out and prepares paperwork for his release. Meanwhile Harry whispers the answers to Tom. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTom then goes in. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Tom, what would happen if I cut off your ear?”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I would be blind in one eye,”\u003c\/i\u003e replies Tom. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I see,”\u003c\/i\u003e says the puzzled doctor. \u003ci\u003e“And what would happen if I cut off your other ear?”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“I would be completely blind,”\u003c\/i\u003e answers Tom. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003e“Why do you think you’d be blind if you had no ears?”\u003c\/i\u003e asks the doctor. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTom thinks for a second. Then he says, \u003ci\u003e“Because my hat would fall over my eyes.”\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eMore One Liners\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eLight travels faster than sound. That is the reason some people appear bright before you hear them speak.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo you know what’s ODD? \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eEvery other number!\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA turtle is crossing the road when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle says, “I don’t know. It happened so fast.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDid you hear about the man who got rid of his vacuum? He claimed all it was doing was collecting dust.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eKNOCK KNOCK\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHarry\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eHarry who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHarry up and open the door\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNobell\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eNobell who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eNobell so I knocked knocked\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKNOCK KNOCK\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDishes\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDishes who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDishes a really bad joke\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBeets\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBeets who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBeats me, I’m here for the jokes\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eLittle old lady\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eLittle old lady who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHey, I didn’t know you could yodel!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWooden shoe\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWooden shoe who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWooden shoe like to know\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eKnock Knock\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eWho’s there?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eJesus\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eJesus who?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eJesus Christ,\u003c\/b\u003e the one who loves you so much that he suffered a horrible death on a wooden cross to pay for your sins. RIGHT NOW, he is standing at the door of your heart and knocking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe loves you more than you could ever imagine and wants to give you a joy that is greater than any laughter you’ve ever experienced.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eAs an old, seasoned fisherman, here is my advice:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOpen the door. Invite Jesus in. Recognize that you are a sinner and separated from God. \u003ci\u003eRomans 3:23\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave faith that Jesus is the Son of God, who died on the cross to pay for your sins and was resurrected. \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eRomans 5:8\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eConfess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, which leads to salvation. This also includes repenting (turning away from your sins). \u003ci\u003eRomans 10:9\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAccept God’s gift of eternal life through faith in Jesus alone. Not by your own actions or merits. \u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eEphesians 2:8-9\u003c\/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThink about this: We are souls with bodies, not bodies with souls. These earthly bodies will wear out and die, but our souls will live forever in either Heaven, with unbelievable joy, or in Hell, with eternal, excruciating misery.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eToday, Jesus is knocking on your door with an indescribable gift. \u003cb\u003eWHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e    \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"PrintMyTract.com","offers":[{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 100","offer_id":51994312835355,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-100","price":70.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 100","offer_id":51994312868123,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-100-RUSH","price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 250","offer_id":51994312900891,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-250","price":125.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 250","offer_id":51994312933659,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-250-RUSH","price":180.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 500","offer_id":51994312966427,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-500","price":150.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 500","offer_id":51994312999195,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-500-RUSH","price":240.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 1000","offer_id":51994313031963,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-1000","price":243.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 1000","offer_id":51994313064731,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-1000-RUSH","price":342.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 2500","offer_id":51994313097499,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-2500","price":520.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 2500","offer_id":51994313130267,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-2500-RUSH","price":647.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 5000","offer_id":51994313163035,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-5000","price":840.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 5000","offer_id":51994313195803,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-5000-RUSH","price":1050.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard (up to 3 weeks) \/ 10000","offer_id":51994313228571,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-10000","price":1330.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Rush (1 week) \/ 10000","offer_id":51994313261339,"sku":"PMT1814ENES-10000-RUSH","price":1540.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0850\/8334\/files\/1814ENES-1.jpg?v=1775140488","url":"https:\/\/mwtb.org\/en-ca\/products\/pmt-laughter-its-good-for-the-body-its-good-for-the-soul","provider":"Moments With The Book","version":"1.0","type":"link"}